A love Letter To Ubisoft

Are annual release cycles ruining the games industry?

            That seems to be the big question floating around the internet after the release of one broken Assassin’s Creed game, one half assed Assassin’s Creed game and a glitchy Far Cry sequel. The answer is obviously no. Annual release cycles are actually better for the games industry. They’re making a lot of money from an annual sale, paying their employees for more work in less time, and are building a monstrous catalogue. I know you were all expecting me to shit all over Ubisoft, but that's coming later.

Looks like a finished game

The gaming industry as a whole is about entertainment...but mostly money. So to think that a lot of major developers don’t have their executives chasing the bottom dollar is a complete lie. I hate to bring up money when talking about the games industry because so many game studios are closing every year.  Just to list off a few that hit especially close to home; Pandemic, Lucas arts, Big Huge Games, and Rare (see what I did there). I hate to see job loss in an industry that I love, because I’m sure a lot of the developers and programmers absolute love what they’re doing. 

R.I.P. quality

            I watched a lot of Hell’s Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares when I was in Scotland (stay with me here guys). Aside from being my celebrity crush, Gordon Ramsey has some very important advice for the kitchen, and one particular bit that I think fits into the games industry. The longer you work at the same thing the easier it is to lose your passion for it. Look around at what the annual release cycles have brought the consumer public. Buggy and glitched out games that will crash and dip down to a frankly insulting frame rate. It’s inexcusable. Not only that, but take look at Assassin’s Creed Rogue. Ubisoft's weak attempt at a cash in for the older console generation is laughably bland. It lacked the creativity and imagination that frankly I haven't seen since the second Ass Creed game.

"WAKE UP UBISOFT. YOUR GAMES ARE SHIT"

            Call of Duty is guilty of this as well. Ghosts is a prime example. If I’m being completely honest. Half the time I forget that game was ever made. That’s clearly a good sign. I mean they stepped up their game for Advanced Warfare with more verticality in combat, but Titanfall already did that, and that game has huge robots. Activision 0, ex Activision devs 1. I’m beginning to get annoyed that we as a consumer base are actually happy to plop down 70$ for a new CoD or Ass Creed game. When in reality we’re only getting something that is a basic content patch. The only noticeable differences in the Assassins Creed series were the first and second games. Those games felt and played drastically different. Everything else has just become bullshit filler that just makes the game look bigger. It doesn’t mean it’s better.

Right C, A, Down C, Right C, A, Down C

Make these shitty games go away

            Here’s the new Round_2 rule. You get to release one game every two years then once you hit three games in the series wait four years to release the next one. 1,2,3,4, is that easy enough to remember? Assassin’s Creed could have tried something different. I mean just put out a first person parkour game with assassinations in it, like holy shit. Makes some new waves. Don’t ride on the coat tails of your previous work, give us something new, something worth playing and something truly great. I’m only this mad because I love Assassin’s Creed and Far Cry. God damn it anyway.

Jordan

Heartbreak and Other Awful Sequels

It's December of 1994. Two brothers release their first breakout comedy starring Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, Dumb and Dumber. While not as warmly received by critics as it was by the public, the film went on to be a box office success and a cult favorite. It solidified the careers of the Farrelly brothers and Carrey as new comedic heavyweights. Twenty years pass, and the gang gets together again to revisit the material. High jinx ensue on screen as Harry and Lloyd go on a mission to get a replacement kidney from Harry's estranged daughter. What could have perhaps been an excellent film had it been made in the nineties instead becomes arguably the most soul crushing film going experience I've had in a decade of movie-going.

What's that you say?

For me, Dumb and Dumber was a classic. I held it in as such a high regard as movies like The Holy Grail and Airplane! It's a timeless comedy, one that will never become irrelevant. My appreciation for the original Dumb and Dumber obviously makes me somewhat bias in my opinion of the sequel (I know, what was I expecting) but should that even be an excuse? The movie has already surpassed box office predictions and finished first over the weekend beating out Big Hero 6, which was phenomenal I might add, so I wasn't the only one to look past the presumptions about the film and the reputation sequels have, especially comedy sequels. Just because a beloved franchise has been established and producers know that a sequel will put butts in the seats, does that automatically then give them the power to make the follow up abhorrent because...fuck you you're going to see it anyway? It doesn't look like it's going to let up anytime soon either. For the past several years all of the top money makers at the box office have been sequels, and if Fast and the Furious performs anything at all like it has in the past that won't change this year either. We can be prepared for several Transformers and TMNT sequels to be stopping by any summer now I'm certain.

Good analogy here, guys.

I wanted to love this movie. Really, I did. What else excites a D+D fan more than the original crew getting back together for another stupid romp through North America? Unfortunately they didn't make it to Denver again. There's a lot more gross-out toilet humour that we've come to expect from the Farrelly brothers as of late with such pukes as Movie 43 and the Three Stooges reboot. I know the original had it's fair share of crass jokes as well, I won't pretend like it didn't. It wasn't some brilliant new comedy that avoided all poop jokes, hell one of the funniest parts is Harry having raging diarrhea. Once Lloyd went wrist deep in an old woman's vagina somehow that became too much for me.  Where was the sharp witted writing that made the original so great? "It's a cardigan but thanks for noticin'!" Replaced with "Yep. I decided to name my cat Butthole."
Dare I go as far as saying the sequel has sullied the reputation of the first film for me? I won't be that dramatic, but I was close. Very close.

Seriously, just don't go see this movie.

How the Mighty Have Fallen (Maury Edition)

So as many of you have probably heard, there has been some controversy surrounding Ubisoft and it's business practices as of late. Known for their iconic game series such as Assassin's Creed, Splinter Cell, Rainbow Six, Far Cry and now Watch_Dogs, Ubisoft has been growing exponentially with every new release. Of course how wouldn't they be expanding so quickly, given that they've had to develop a new Assassin's Creed game every year for the past three or more years and (technically) a new Far Cry every year for the past three as well. Let's not forget to mention that two Assassin's games were released simultaneously this year, and that has also become a topic of heated debate. Since this has been examined from several angles all over the web already, Round_2 is going to try something new. Ubisoft- you're going on Maury.

If you're not familiar with the show, here's a little sample right above. Now, we don't have the expensive budget to make this episode a reality, so for now we're just going to have to share the script with you. Perhaps you'll see the episode play out on our YouTube channel in the future. Let's get started.

GUILTY!

Maury: Welcome everyone. Today we're going to be talking to a video game publishing company that's come under scrutiny for lying to gamers about the finished quality of their products, releasing unfinished, albeit broken, games and abusing the power of review embargoes.

Crowd: Booooo!

Maury: It's not gonna be pretty that's for sure. We've given Ubisoft a lie-decetor test to get down to their real intentions, and if they knowingly released their games in the state they were in. We've also got some avid gamers here who suggested we get the company into our studio to find out the truth! Let's bring them out now!

The crowd begins yelling uncontrollably, as crowds typically do.

Maury: Welcome to the show, nerds. It's not often we get to interrogate a business entity on our show, but this story seemed like it needed some deeper investigation.

Will: That's right Maury. We needed to bring to light the issues that we, as gamers, have been dealing with as it's infecting our hobby. It's something we'd expect from say, EA or Activision but not from Ubisoft.

Jem: I was contemplating going down to the Ubisoft headquarters and breaking $80 worth of stuff their to reconcile my recent game purchase *ahem* ripoff that I just had to deal with.

Crowd: Oohhhh!

Jem: Buuut, when we managed to get them on the show, I figured this would suffice.

Jordan: You also forgot to mention Maury, that they took away our pirate ships.

Maury: Pirate ships? What the hell are you talking about?

Taylor: Oh sorry, ignore him. Why don't we just get them out here and get this started?

Ubisoft walks out on stage, flipping everyone the bird and trying to yell over the screaming crowd.

Maury: Alright calm down everyone, let's let 'em talk.

Ubisoft: Thank you Maury. I was actually delighted to come on this show and state my case, because frankly-the public has been getting it all wrong. We never intended to hide anything from gamers with our review embargo. The last thing we would want is for a reviewer to spoil the game for anyone! So we had them wait to post their review, and what's the harm in that?

Jem: My wallet was harmed. $80 to be exact.

Crowd: Ohhhh!

Ubisoft: Hey hey, that's just like...your opinion man! I personally didn't like Grand Theft Auto V, I thought it was all-around overhyped, despite being the highest reviewed game all year. Did I complain? No! I just traded the product into my local EB Games for a quarter of the selling price and put that credit towards a pre-order for an even better open world game, Far Cry 4! Besides, I couldn't possibly pass up the chance to get exclusive skins for my wind-glider.

Maury: Now Ubisoft, how often will we actually see this wind-glider in game?

Ubisoft: Well, at E3 it was shown a hell of a lot, but we can't guarantee you'll see it very much in the actual game. Actually who knows what the finished product will look like. I mean, isn't that all part of the fun of buying a new video game?

Taylor: You're trying to justify the Watch_Dogs fiasco now, Ubi?

Ubisoft: I don't have to justify anything! You all should just let the lie detector do the talking. We never had any intention to violate the trust of the gaming community. We had your best interest in mind!

Will: This is kind of off-topic...but seriously you can't punch people in Watch_Dogs? What the hell!

The crowd begins yelling again, Maury stands up to quiet them down.

Maury: Okay, okay. Let's get back on track here. Ubisoft, we asked you several questions to determine if you truly had the gaming community in mind with your recent business decisions. Are you ready to here what our tests have determined?

Ubisoft: I'm ready, Maury.

"It's not going to be pretty."

Maury: Ubisoft. We asked if you had intended to keep the polished graphics from the spectacular Watch_Dogs E3 trailer in the final launch version. We've determined....that was a LIE!

Ubisoft: What!?

The crowd is getting louder now

Maury: We asked if you knew all along that Assassin's Creed Unity was broken before releasing it, and opted not to push back it's release. We've determined...that was a LIE!
And finally, we asked if you had any ill intention in holding back reviews from the public until twelve hours from release. You said no. We've determined...that was a LIE!

The crowd is yelling uncontrollably now, certain total nerds in the crowd have begun jumping up and down. The R_2 crew starts their own victory dance, as is tradition.

Ubisoft: I want to see these test results for myself!

Maury: I've been doing this long enough to know a liar when I see one. Clean up your act, or else your loyal game-buying public will turn it's back on you quicker than you can say Splinter Cell: Blacklist. Did I say that right?

Will: And don't f*%K up Far Cry 4!!

Maury: Has Ubisoft made an unbreakable deal with the console gaming devil? Find out after these messages....

And we're back! Hope you enjoyed that special Round_2 court case on our favorite television show. On a more serious note, yearly release cycles and abuse of review embargoes is becoming an increasingly annoying nuisance in gaming. With the upcoming release of Far Cry 4, one can only hope that we don't get a refurbished, re-skinned edition of one of the best open world games in years. We're watching you Ubisoft.

Not with a top hat and wand, but you get the point.

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Paying respect to those who pay respect.

           So it’s Remembrance Day for everyone back in Canada, and with the release of Fury I think it’s a good time to remind people that war isn't pretty. Seems like an obvious statement, but not a lot of movies and games really hammer home that point. There’s a lot of talk of brotherhood and an emphasis on bringing down an oppressive evil but there’s rarely mention of the post traumatic stress disorder or the brutal acts in war.

Remember Reveille

            The moment in Fury when someone’s leg is blown in half by a machine gun, I stared in awe. It is a great movie (Listen to our podcast) that pulls no punches in the subject matter it chooses to portray. It’s good the producers decided to stick with such a brutal tone. Bare bones story aside Fury pays respect to the solders that served in the Second World War by showing broken men. One of the best moments is the end, which I won’t spoil for you, but it really drives home the definition of PTSD. The film uses editing to make you scared for the crew of Fury through every single encounter they come across. Even a mortar attack although brief is still horrifying.  This sets a beautiful picture of World War 2 that is rarely touched in videogames. That’s not to say that videogames haven’t expertly dealt with that same subject matter.

Some how this was Normans fault

            Spec Ops: The Line was an overlooked masterpiece that took a look at not only the horrors of war but modern videogame stereotypes. The game takes place in a fictional Dubai after a massive sand storm covering most of the city. You start off as a gruff military solider that; with the aid of his wise cracking team have to recon the destroyed city. After some genuine character development and an apocalypse nowish story, the game starts to show it true colours. It weaves the importance of your two comrades into not only story but also the gameplay. When you’re separated and hunted it’s four minutes of on edge combat where enemies will flank you and seeing your squad mates is a genuine relief.

The "no turning back point"

A few people were annoyed with the new Tomb Raider’s story arc of Lara of going from someone who can barely kill a deer to a killer who makes any CoD protagonist blush. In Spec Ops, the story of Captain Martin Walker and his squad mates descent into madness is not only a great one it’s one that reveals itself in gameplay as well. As you play though the game, perfect and clinical executions turn into brutal finishing attacks where Walker stands over the enemy and beats the shit out of them. Your squad goes from a well trained unit to a group of scared men that will sometimes flat out disobey orders, to shoot what they feel is a more valued target. One of the best parts of Spec Ops is it turns the now overused trope of the Good vs Evil decision to mirror what war is actually like. There are no right or wrong decisions it asks the player to decide what the lesser of two evils are. Games like Spec Ops that show the true nature of a man going through PTSD and are genuine quality are few and far between.

Who lives?

Of course I’m not saying Spec Ops, and Fury are the only two IPs that pay respect to the reality of soldiers. It’s just exciting to see these diamonds in the rough that take a look at soldiers who have given a lot to return home. So today take a minute to remember the soldiers who died so long ago and that coming home doesn’t mean it’s over.

- Jordan

Nightcrawler and other Oscar Buzz (No, not the Marvel Character)

Well it's that time of year again and Oscar season is almost upon us. While the real rush won't begin until December, November has a whole host of amazing films being released, including the extremely gripping thriller 'Nightcrawler'. Did it cross any of these filmmaker's minds that rabid
X-Men fans may attending a screening of Dan Gilroy's film expecting an action filled mutant romp and leave being really, really disappointed? Unless said attendee lived under a rock it probably wouldn't be the case, but seriously lets get an X-Men Origins: Nightcrawler! No? Okay, so enough about Marvel and back to the Jake Gyllenhaal movie- where Nightcrawler isn't blue and drives really fast rather than using teleportation.

They decided to give him a blue car, but didn't make his skin blue. He's certainly got a Nightcrawler face though.

It's always exciting when popular actors step outside of their regular roles for something a little more eccentric. Take 'Drive' for example (of which producer Michael Litvak also attached his name to). Ryan Gosling was someone who would be commonly associated with romantic drama, but arguably had one of the best roles in his career starring in a dark noir-crime flick, it was easily the best film of that calendar year. Gyllenhaal takes a similarly dark turn in 'Nightcrawler' and he puts everything on the line in this exceptionally good film. Everything from the eerie score underlining the picture, to the beautifully dark atmosphere in L.A.'s seedy underbelly which Lou Bloom (Gyllenhaal) situates himself in, help perpetuate an ongoing sense of tension that Bloom could take one more step too far at any moment. The film does away with most conventional storytelling tropes and becomes more of a character study, specifically about a man in a recession economy who is willing to do anything to get ahead. The more vile acts Bloom commits dare not be spoiled, but it's something that often gets the crowd going from stunned laughter to utter shock from one scene to the next. It's an experience that a film can rarely ever pull off, and Gyllenhaal's performance is sure to get attention at the Academy Awards.

Seriously, he's great. Trust me.

Once the rest of the guys have seen this one we'll get into a deeper discussion about it, but let it be known, its currently sitting at A+ on the Round_2 review aggregator. It's like Rotten Tomatoes-except the only reviews reflected are our cruddy opinions. As for what's coming out the rest of this month, keep an eye out for the nearest screenings of 'Foxcatcher', 'Birdman', 'Whiplash', and 'Inherent Vice'.
A particularly exciting title is 'Foxcatcher'. It stars Channing Tatum, Steve Carrell and Mark Ruffalo in a biopic about Olympic Wrestling Champion Mark Schultz and paranoid schizophrenic millionaire coach John du Pont, who murdered Schultz's brother, Olympic Champion Dave Schultz in 1996. Check out this picture of Carrell who, much like Gyllenhaal, had to do some serious work to get into his character. Director Bennett Miller's last effort was 2011's 'Moneyball', another "based on a true story" biopic that was quite successful. If Miller can combine elements of the classic 'Goodfellas'-esque crime film with a biopic like Moneyball, it should be another winner on his resume.  Reviews thus far have been quite positive, and aside from 'Foxcatcher', if a film like 'Nightcrawler' is any indication of 2014's award caliber films, we can all prepare for an excellent rush of films to come.

No longer the Michael Scott you remember.

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